Everybody's different. We sometimes go through the same shit and may have variations of the same problem. But at the end of the day we're individuals. And so no matter how much we "understand" what the other person is going through, we'll still never *fully* understand their situation. My point - judge not. You never really know the whole story.
Sure you can ask for advice and you can gather different opinions but what you do at the end of the day, how you tackle a difficult situation is ultimately up to you. By that same token, if you've given a friend your two cents' worth, you've done what you can. In the end, it's their life and you have NO RIGHT to question their decision.
Consequently, if you've decided to deal with something one way, you ALSO have no right to go on and on and on about your plight. I mean, give your friends a break. They respect you enough to be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and a myriad of other cliches... the least you can do after you've made up your mind is to own the decision. Asking them why you have to put up with a husband's infidelity, or why you're broke all the time since you quit your job and had to move back home is just irresponsible friend behaviour. If YOU chose not to get a divorce or decided to give up your cushy job (for whatever reason) then it's on you to deal with the consequences.
Don't get me wrong, you can share worries and concerns and pour your heart out to a friend. You can use them as sounding boards. Go ahead and vent ever so often. But recognise at some point that THIS IS YOUR CHOICE.
And if I had to teach one important life lesson to my kids (as yet non-existent tho they may be), this would be it.
Acceptance and love on the one hand, and ownership of your decisions on the other.
I am grateful to have more than a handful of friends whom I can trust to understand this concept. And I wish nothing more than that everyone be blessed with the same.
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