It has been a rather trying year for me. I'll be glad for it to come to an end so that I can begin next year without burdens and unfinished business.
But why wait till next year? Today. Today will be the start of a new year. A new tomorrow. A new hope. I sound like a Star Wars movie title...
In the past it was all about bending over backwards, being careful not to rock the boat. Well, that boat has been slowly taking on water and eventually I found myself up to my eyeballs in murky water littered with debris and filth. So maybe instead of not rocking the boat, I should be vigilant and tell myself it's okay to abandon ship. After all, if patching up the holes doesn't help, then no matter how I try and maintain balance and no matter how I keep still, it will still fill up eventually and I'll sink right along with it.
So here's to new tomorrows, new hopes and new dreams. The past ends now. Let the future begin.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Venting
I haven't written in ages. I apologise.
I'm back cos I need an outlet to vent. So if you're not interested don't read this.
But if you ARE curious as to what happened - here it is.
Fact : I was very upfront about what I wanted out of this relationship. He assured me that he was on the same page. Over time he couldn't keep up with the demands of having a girlfriend - and it's nothing fantastical I assure you.
I on the other hand, wasn't completely sold on the idea that we would only ever go where he wanted and when he wanted. I was never involved in any of the decision making, and invitations ended up sounding something like "I'm going here with XYZ.. you're invited... if you don't wanna come it's ok... I'll go by myself".
Whatever happened to "hey, XYZ asks if we wanna go here... how? shall we?"
Chances are (as is my way) I'll say yes. But on the off chance I don't feel like going out it is also very likely that the answer will be "I don't feel like going out, but you go lah.." The end result would be the same. I recognise this. So I let it go. But really, a bit of consideration would have been nice.
Point of contention 2 - We hardly met for dinner, we definitely didn't spend weekends together except for when he rolls up post-dinner, stays over then splits the next morning (either cos he has to fulfil his saturday morning obligation or I have to work on sunday) and again, I was never part of the when-we're-meeting decisions.
In our 8 months together we saw less than 10 movies together (so far I count Johnny English, Transformers 3, Hangover 2, No Strings Attached and Midnight in Paris....) spent maybe 3 whole days together (Nat'l Day, that one Wed I was off and he took leave, and the recent Flyer excursion) and he walked out on the relationship 3 times.
So, Mr Ex-Boyfriend, You say I'm trying to control your life - you say I'm expecting you to behave like we're ALREADY married when it's been barely a year... well, then you shouldn't have been doing things that you think husbands do like buying groceries (once a week you insisted) and household appliances (fan) and furnishings (bedsheets). You shouldn't have planned the wedding or the honeymoon destination.
Here's a tip - if you're not ready to commit - don't get involved.
And sure as hell don't behave like you're already married. Where was the wining and the dining? Where was the dating? Where was the sweet nothings, walks on the beach, romantic notes, flowers and gifts?
Your words - you wanted to consider carefully if you had the time, energy and capability to invest in a jewel and keep it shiny and polished and provide all that it needs... guess we know that answer.
Oh and here's another tip - you can't keep your family and your relationship separate without eventually totally losing one or the other.
I'm back cos I need an outlet to vent. So if you're not interested don't read this.
But if you ARE curious as to what happened - here it is.
Fact : I was very upfront about what I wanted out of this relationship. He assured me that he was on the same page. Over time he couldn't keep up with the demands of having a girlfriend - and it's nothing fantastical I assure you.
I on the other hand, wasn't completely sold on the idea that we would only ever go where he wanted and when he wanted. I was never involved in any of the decision making, and invitations ended up sounding something like "I'm going here with XYZ.. you're invited... if you don't wanna come it's ok... I'll go by myself".
Whatever happened to "hey, XYZ asks if we wanna go here... how? shall we?"
Chances are (as is my way) I'll say yes. But on the off chance I don't feel like going out it is also very likely that the answer will be "I don't feel like going out, but you go lah.." The end result would be the same. I recognise this. So I let it go. But really, a bit of consideration would have been nice.
Point of contention 2 - We hardly met for dinner, we definitely didn't spend weekends together except for when he rolls up post-dinner, stays over then splits the next morning (either cos he has to fulfil his saturday morning obligation or I have to work on sunday) and again, I was never part of the when-we're-meeting decisions.
In our 8 months together we saw less than 10 movies together (so far I count Johnny English, Transformers 3, Hangover 2, No Strings Attached and Midnight in Paris....) spent maybe 3 whole days together (Nat'l Day, that one Wed I was off and he took leave, and the recent Flyer excursion) and he walked out on the relationship 3 times.
So, Mr Ex-Boyfriend, You say I'm trying to control your life - you say I'm expecting you to behave like we're ALREADY married when it's been barely a year... well, then you shouldn't have been doing things that you think husbands do like buying groceries (once a week you insisted) and household appliances (fan) and furnishings (bedsheets). You shouldn't have planned the wedding or the honeymoon destination.
Here's a tip - if you're not ready to commit - don't get involved.
And sure as hell don't behave like you're already married. Where was the wining and the dining? Where was the dating? Where was the sweet nothings, walks on the beach, romantic notes, flowers and gifts?
Your words - you wanted to consider carefully if you had the time, energy and capability to invest in a jewel and keep it shiny and polished and provide all that it needs... guess we know that answer.
Oh and here's another tip - you can't keep your family and your relationship separate without eventually totally losing one or the other.
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