Romance is an Exercise

In light of my current situation, I've been asking myself what my next step should be. Those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about, this post is not for you. Actually, this post is for myself, truth be told. But you're welcome to spy on my ramblings.

While I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, (ok, DJ says change is entirely possible, but I'm still convinced there's a 90% chance the other shoe's going to whack me on the head) I've been thinking about what a friend asked me today. 'So you're dating?'

Well. No. Or at least, I haven't, yet. And I'm not sure I should be. But I wouldn't be entirely truthful if I said that the thought hasn't crossed my mind. There's a line between actually going out and doing it, and merely considering the idea. I'm not opposed to keeping an eye out for potential romances. There I've said it.

But I owe it to myself and other parties involved to give it a fighting chance. At the moment, I still do badly want a happy ending.

And yet following a conversation I had with my dad on Christmas eve, I find myself approaching this whole romance thing more and more like an exercise in recruitment.

It's not very different after all. The idea is that you want to match the right candidate to the job. In this case, the post to be filled is boyfriend with the possibility of advancement to husband and father.

So we have a look at the resume - let's see, there are certain standard requirements : male, eligible, english speaking, catholic, good morals. Then the preferences : cute, witty, able to hold a conversation, has some depth, self-aware. On to the plus points : stable (financially), responsible, independent, emotionally evolved, secure (psychologically). The bonuses : not opposed to drinking and smoking, can drive, sociable, good in bed (yes you heard me right - it's the last item on my list).

So after you've made a shortlist and picked out your best candidate, the next thing to do is sort out the timing. As with hiring an employee, there are issues such as notice periods and start dates to deal with. These are negotiated and agreed upon and both parties enter into a contract when everyone is satisfied. As an adult, often this is the case with our love lives as well. When there are other factors influencing the entering of either party into a relationship (it may well be probationary at first, as with most jobs)  it becomes necessary to lay all the facts out on the table at the very start. This way both parties know what to expect, if options should still be left open and at what date they need to commit to signing on the dotted line to seal the deal. There is still room for shopping around, so to speak.

It's all so unromantic now. Where are the days of boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy tries to get girl? As a teen, life was simpler. You like a guy, the guy likes you, you get together. When something goes wrong and someone doesn't feel the same anymore, you break up.

My last 4 break-ups have been for practical reasons. That totally sucks. Does love count for anything then?