I am 40.
I feel older. Not in that Oh My CNY is Coming and I'm Gonna Have to Field "Those" Questions Again way.
I feel older in the way that I'm happy with what I have, where I've been, who I've become.
The 姐姐said it perfectly in the waiting room of CGH's A&E when she said "Maybe you're meant to touch the lives of all the children that you teach... something you probably might not do if your life had turned out differently."
I agree. A student of mine wrote on my FB wall today wishing me Happy Birthday and said some awesome mushy things about how I've taught him more than playing the piano. That's what makes my job worthwhile. Sure, you have ambitious parents who get a reality check from teacher dearest when their kid doesn't put in the time and effort... you get the kids come to class kicking and screaming, making up excuses, telling you stories... you roll your eyeballs and groan inwardly (or outwardly sometimes) when you're just NOT getting thru to them.
But the occasional word of gratitude or the unexpected high mark could make it all better. For me anyway.
People have often asked me how I define myself. I think I'm ready to take a stand and say - I'm a Teacher. It's what I do. It's who I am.
The 40s is a good time to be in. I did not feel that way when it started for me. Like many, I was still waiting for my destiny envelope to be handed to me. Chinese sages taught that the 40s is a time a stability, of finding peace with oneself. In the end, we find peace with the work that we have been doing anyway. And with the people that matter. And hopefully, with the person we have become.
ReplyDeletethank you for the sagely advice.
Deletei'm actually rather excited to be here. It's almost like a new adventure!