Hershey's - Coming Soon

Last I wrote I was munching on a NutRageous bar. And regretting that I didn't buy more. Well, after the (I assume) success of their first store in Resorts World, Sentosa, Hershey's will now be coming to the heartlands. Tampines Mall promises a new outlet Coming Soon. I can't wait!

Moose? Meese? Mooses?

From Wikipedia:

The moose (North America) or European elk (Europe) (Alces alces) is the largest extantspecies in the deer family. Moose are distinguished by the palmate antlers of the males; other members of the family have antlers with a "twig-like" configuration. Moose typically inhabit boreal and mixed deciduous forests of the Northern Hemisphere in temperate tosubarctic climates.

I wish I knew what all those words meant without having to look them up - in my quest to be clever I did :)

palmate - of a leaf shape; having leaflets or lobes radiating from a common point


boreal - toward or located in the north

decideous - (of plants and shrubs) shedding foliage at the end of the growing season

subarctic - of or relating to latitudes just south of the Arctic Circle (I wanted the official definition)

And I'm slightly happier (and smarter) now... 


Oh, and the plural of MOOSE is MOOSE. 

Channel 5-ism

Disclaimer - This post may offend some. In which case, don't blame me if you choose to read on.

I'm convinced that people who aren't fluent in English shouldn't try and pick up a girl in English. Someone wrote me to ask me out on a date - something about coffee this weekend and made mention of how my profile pic was rockstar. Then someone else wrote "hi, how are you doing?"

Now I ask you, who do you THINK I'm going to reply to first?

Also - if all you can talk about is what movie you like, fishing for me to invite you over for drinks, and then say "haha" as a copout whenever you're faced with a potentially explosive line of questioning, don't expect me to be eager for a date. Cos your competitors are out there talking about the demise of graciousness, the intolerance of society towards homosexuality (and lamenting this)  and how non-state institutions, be they business, professional, personal interest, or religious play a useful role in society. 

Dude, I'm 37, not 13. Please go away now.

There Are Lots of Crazies Out There

I think I've been teaching from home for WAY too long. 

Recently I've had reason to go out cos

1) I've begun teaching part time in a music school

2) I'm on the long long road to getting licensed to sell insurance

3) I have to buy suitable work clothes / shoes so I had to trawl the malls.

And I've come to the conclusion that

1) When you wear great shoes, you feel great

2) You never truly realise how fat you've gotten until you've looked at yourself in a fitting room mirror under harsh fluorescent lights

3) The people who live in Singapore leave much to be desired.

I suppose over time I may have forgotten what it's like to have so many people around me that chances for bumping into ID10Ts skyrocket.

Also, I suspect people have gotten less and less gracious ( not that we were all that gracious a society to begin with) over the last 10 years that I've been ensconced in my safe little world (read: my home).

Take for example, the crazy woman who bumped into me 4 times on the bus because she couldn't balance on her seat every time the bus jerked, and then promptly turns and stares and "tsk"s me. Hello? If you sat properly on the seat you wouldn't have to yo-yo back and forth along with the movement of the bus. And then as if that wasn't bad enough, had the gall to tell me to watch how I sit cos my foot was in her space. I'm like - woman, your whole BODY is in my space. And my foot is nowhere NEAR you. Conclusion - mental. 

Or the fellow teacher who was eyeing me suspiciously, then gave me a limp handshake when another teacher introduced us. Sure, look away when you shake my hand. I really didn't want to meet you anyway. And, oh, go ahead and look at my shoes while I'm talking to someone else because I know you covet them. They're the same colour as when I bought them. Unlike yours, which used to be white... I think. I can't really tell cos your toes are hanging out over the base of the sandals you *think* you're wearing. Did I mention we have a dress code? Clearly she didn't get the memo. Conclusion - weirdo.

And then there's this new habit I've noticed of people turning to stare directly at you. When did it stop being impolite to stare? Maybe *I* didn't get the memo. I get at least 2 stares per day. Not the Oh-you're-so-hot-can-we-hop-into-bed kind, mind you. Not even the lecherous Xiao-Jie-yao-bu-yao-zuo-peng-you? kind. These are creepy look-you-up-and-down stares. And people don't bother hiding it. They'll turn their heads to follow you and are totally nonchalant that you KNOW they're staring. Conclusion - rude.

And oh, the taxi drivers. Seriously? It's unsafe to flag a cab anymore. Taxi drivers are a new breed of NUTS. Here are the rules they play by:

1) Do not be polite to any customer. In fact, be as rude as you can. After all, they're now your hostages.

2) Say you know how to get to any destination then totally screw it up. What can they do? Jump out of your cab on the expressway?

3) Ask if there's a preferred route then ignore their answers completely. You're the cabbie, you know best. 

4) When you see someone flagging you down on the side of the road, slow down, then just when they take a step towards you thinking you're going to stop, accelerate and point to your on-call sign (which should NOT be clearly displayed).

So maybe we take the bus right? Wrong. Bus drivers don't realise there are brakes on their buses. They don't seem to understand that a red light means you have to come to a complete stop.. not test out your clutch control and rev the engine to antagonise the old couple trying to cross the street. And since when did asking if this bus goes to Parkway Parade turn into a conversation that required the services of a kindly old man who was willing to translate for me? Surely even if you're NOT Singaporean you should be able to understand THAT right? 

Singapore's a scary place right now. I miss the country I grew up in. Maybe we should bring back the Courtesy Song... 

I did a bit of snooping and it seems I may be on to something. The last campaign was in 2000. So it *HAS* been 10 years. 

I'm shaking my head at this revelation. Are we so pathetic we need a campaign to tell us to be nice?

Mummy Dearest

Guess what I recently discovered about my mum - she likes pretty shiny things!

We were wandering around the shopping mall yesterday (with my sister) and everytime we went past an accessory counter she would pick up the shiny blingy bits to admire them. LOL. 

I turned to look at my sister and we had a good ol' giggle. I admitted my weakness for shoes a long time ago. My sis came clean with her affection for shopping bags. And there was mum smiling up at us with a diamante brooch in hand.

Ah, I wish we had more of these moments.